It’s getting hot in here

It’s 10.15pm and I’m lying in bed, defeated.

Australian summer has really arrived, and it seems that the sunshine, though pleasant, has various adverse and puzzling effects on my body. These include but are not limited to: excessive knee sweating, incessant thigh chafing, and a reduced appetite.  It’s not that I’m not hungry, and I’m definitely still talking about food 90% of the time, but… and I don’t quite know how to say this, but I forgot to eat lunch today. 


Don’t worry, though. I’m okay. This grave misunderstanding between brain and stomach was brought to my attention as Mum and I enjoyed an evening beer at Naked in the Sky, in Fitzroy (they serve O’Brien’s GF lager, by the way). Unsure if it was the bubbles or fourth-floor altitude making us silly, it dawned on us that we hadn’t eaten – hadn’t SNACKED – since breakfast. The gravity of the situation prompted us to jump on a tram straight home to St Kilda. Mum calls them trolley buses, which I rather like.

Naked in the Sky. Had clothes on.

In the spirit of Friday nights at home in England, my parents and I ordered a delivery from Babu Ji. I had been before, and recommended it to my Dad, a long-time curry connoisseur. “It’s more expensive than at home,” he said. “Yes,” I replied. “But it’s not shit.” He nodded.

The curry arrived twenty minutes earlier than we could ever have expected or hoped for. The entire order was GF, another exciting rarity.

It was going so well. A feast: lasooni palak paneer (spinach and cheese), gobi musallam (cauliflower), fish curry (no exotic name there), a lamb raan (away lol) and some enormous basil prawns – these weren’t meant for the takeaway menu, but the guy on the phone reassured me would “make it happen.” He certainly did.


“This is SO fucking excellent,” Dad exclaimed after a minute. Five minutes in and we were sure it was, “the best curry I’ve ever had in my life.” As we ate, my sister FaceTimed from home, and we passed this momentous news across the globe. “Really? Christ.”

Then, disaster struck. A chilli, masquerading as a lump of Blue Grenadier, found its way onto my fork. All hell broke loose. In the following minutes of terror, I downed roughly ten glasses of wine, orange juice and milk respectively (and I hated milk before… Sworn off it for life). Veering between divergent desires to vomit, cry, keep drinking and, of course, keep eating, I suffered while Dad continued to sing the meal’s praises.

Fifteen minutes later, I had made significant steps on the road to recovery. We shared a laugh as I sat back down and resumed eating my meal. “What am I like! Never mind the best, that’s definitely the hottest curry I’ve ever eaten! Ha ha!”

Did you know that lightning can strike twice? What kind of person eats two fresh chillies in a row? (Rhetorical question). All good things must come to an end. It was over.

It’s 10.15pm and I’m lying in bed, defeated.

It seems that the 42 degree heat isn’t the only hazard this summer. Dad was right, though – best curry ever, in either hemisphere. Just check what’s on your fork, for fork’s sake…


Naked In The Sky, 285 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy, VIC 3065
Babu Ji, 4-6 Grey Street, St Kilda, VIC 3182

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